There used to be such thing as a telephone.  They worked pretty good.  Now they are basically portable desktop computers that just so happen to have a telephone as a peripheral.

And the call quality sucks.

I can play games on my "phone" but I can't hear what my wife is asking me to bring home after work.  What the hell?

Phone Etiquette

The phone rings.  I don't recognize the number.  I say "Hello".  The person on the other end barks "Who is this?"  This chaffs me.  Who do you THINK it is?  Better yet, who the hell are YOU?

There are a few fun ways to deal with these infrequent calls.
1- Make up a name or simply say "it's me".  See where much fun you can have with the other person.
2- Claim temporary amnesia and say "Hmm, I forgot"
3- Think of a famous person.  Ed McMahon comes to mind.  Err, nevermind- he passed in 2009.


Then you can go the usual routes with wrong phone numbers.
1- The person you're looking for has run away, aloped, been arrested, is in the middle of a bank holdup or just plain dead.
2- I found this phone.  I'll meet you at a very inconvenient place to return it.
3- I'm the coroner / jailer.  We were just about to put this phone in his personal belongings bag.
4- Impersonate the intended callee.  Find out what's for dinner, if you need to bring home milk and bread or what their online banking PIN is.  Or tell the person that you want to get married or break up.  How about saying "I just won the lottery- can't talk long but pack your bags: we're flying to Aruba TONIGHT!"

Alas.  I simply said to the person.  "I think you have the wrong number."

PS- the wallpaper image is hops (for making beer)

Beer Infection?

I was fermenting a double batch of robust porter.  I had blow off tubes from the fermenters to a pitcher of Star San.  All of this was taking place inside a refrigerator set to about 65°F.  Well, one of the fermenters did blow off.  Quite a bit in fact- I recall seeing about 2 inches of gunk in the bottom of pitcher.

I had not been keeping up with my beer chores, and that beer sat in primary for about 3 weeks.  One day I simply decided to go ahead and crash cool them.  So I set the thermostat to 38.  About a week later I got around to my beer chores.  I noticed the pitcher of sanitizer was empty except for some foul crusty junk- dried trub!  Gross!  I assumed it evaporated over those 3 to 4 weeks.

As I opened the fermenter bucket, I got a smell like wet socks and saw this film on top.  Also, the "krausen" on the side of the vessel looked slimy- not like yeast.

Beer Infection?

Beer Infection?

I suspect that the drop in temperature lowered the pressure of the head space above the beer.  That pressure was relieved by sucking in old Star San, krausen and whatever nasties fell into that pitcher.  I went ahead and kegged it.  Anyone interested in trying it?

Electric BIAB Oatmeal Stout

Monday we had the day off.  What better reason to brew!  Reviewing the competition schedule, I choose a stout.  An oatmeal stout in this case.  Mainly the recipe is straight out of Brewing Classic Styles.  I upped the hops a bit due to their age and brewhouse familiarity.  Oh, and I upped another 1/2 oz or so to finish off a 1 lb bag.

Flaked oats toasted 350­°F for 15 minutes

Improvements since last brew

• Temperature sensor is potted and sits smack in the middle of the kettle.  Much faster response time.
• Calibrated temperature sensor against a very nice thermometer
• Calibration table based proportional temperature control
• SS screen around element to prevent bag from burning
• Wrung out the BIAB

This was the second batch made in the electric kettle.  It went pretty smooth.  I wrung out the bag to collect a bit more wort.  The potential gravity hit PERFECT.  Too bad the recipe and the brewhouse only made 70% PP.

Electric BIAB kettle

The data logging was really cool.  This is the wort temperature cooling curve.  5 gallons of 1.063 wort going through a convoluted counter flow chiller using 58F tap water.  The jiggers at the beginning were due to the bag getting sucked into the plumbing.  From 212 to 58 in 32 minutes.  Wow.  I had to let the wort "warm up" a bit to pitch ale yeast!

Wort cooling chart

After about 44 hours, the fermentation is going nicely.  WLP005 (British Ale), straight from vial.

Oatmeal stout fermenting for 44 horus